why does it seem like tiffany is the only jewelry company in the entire world?! the little light blue box with the white ribbon, infamous in every soap opera, movie, everywhere. well, after thoroughly surfing around on the tiffany website, i officially declare that i am in love with elsa peretti.
yes, reinforceing the "women like shiny objects" stereotype. what fun.
i think i will visit the cys rehearsal tomorrow. :D
8.06.2003
8.05.2003
try to remember
Try to remember the kind of September
when life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
when grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
when you were a tender and callow fellow,
Try to remember and if you remember the follow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
that no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender that
dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender that
love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember and if you remember then follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
altho you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
without the hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
the fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember and follow.
when life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
when grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
when you were a tender and callow fellow,
Try to remember and if you remember the follow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
that no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender that
dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender that
love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember and if you remember then follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
altho you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
without the hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
the fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember and follow.
cancelled
"Your registration has been cancelled.
"Thank you for using Tele-BEARS on the WEB."
yes, i suppose i did not really have to cancel my registration, i could just withdraw for one semester and that way i won't have to reapply if i change my mind. but i know the road ahead is much harder (at least in the beginning) than what i would have had to face if i chose to go to berkeley. so this is perhaps the only way for me to toughen up and go through with it all. somehow, even though i may not want to leave now, i know that in the end this is for the best, and i will know that i made the right decision. i just have to.. get through this first.
"Thank you for using Tele-BEARS on the WEB."
yes, i suppose i did not really have to cancel my registration, i could just withdraw for one semester and that way i won't have to reapply if i change my mind. but i know the road ahead is much harder (at least in the beginning) than what i would have had to face if i chose to go to berkeley. so this is perhaps the only way for me to toughen up and go through with it all. somehow, even though i may not want to leave now, i know that in the end this is for the best, and i will know that i made the right decision. i just have to.. get through this first.
starting over
the need for blog privacy has been resolved. *wink* thank you for your patience.
i am back. :)
i am back. :)
7.26.2003
7.18.2003
haha swimming at kaka's house was pretty fun. his pool is much warmer than charlton's! and so much food..! i think i ate four hot dogs..
oh yes, remind me it is a dangerous thing to get into the jacuzzi with three rambunctious guys. hahaha "pimp-tress" status.
okie well i'm off to the beautiful alaskan cruise for a week! be back on the 25th (late night). goodbye america!! er.. not really.. well goodbye california and heat wave! you guys have fun with the upcoming thunderstorm! :P
muahahahhahaha
mood: enthralled
oh yes, remind me it is a dangerous thing to get into the jacuzzi with three rambunctious guys. hahaha "pimp-tress" status.
okie well i'm off to the beautiful alaskan cruise for a week! be back on the 25th (late night). goodbye america!! er.. not really.. well goodbye california and heat wave! you guys have fun with the upcoming thunderstorm! :P
muahahahhahaha
mood: enthralled
7.17.2003
nothing like walking that can make you feel more like a piece of meat.
so today i didn't have my car because my sister had to use it. i was dropped off at starbucks, where i spent a good 3, 4 hours. not really reading all that much, as i intended to do. but instead, i just sat there and thought. and i realized that i really like talking to myself! we sometimes argue but we always make up, and she always seems to know exactly what i'm talking about before i finish the sentence!
so anyway, back to the subject i began with. i ended up walking along stevens creek from starbucks (the one near safeway) back home. as i passed under the bridge (er not really a bridge, more like 280? whatever it is), i noticed this white car driving very very close to the curb and slowing as it approached. so i thought maybe that person knew me but as i glanced in, i realized he was one of those asian guys that i don't normally associate with, and he was using one hand to lower his sunglasses, staring right at me. i thought, how rude! so i stuck out my tongue at him and made a face. then he drove away.
ugh. ugh ugh ugh.
mood: irate
so today i didn't have my car because my sister had to use it. i was dropped off at starbucks, where i spent a good 3, 4 hours. not really reading all that much, as i intended to do. but instead, i just sat there and thought. and i realized that i really like talking to myself! we sometimes argue but we always make up, and she always seems to know exactly what i'm talking about before i finish the sentence!
so anyway, back to the subject i began with. i ended up walking along stevens creek from starbucks (the one near safeway) back home. as i passed under the bridge (er not really a bridge, more like 280? whatever it is), i noticed this white car driving very very close to the curb and slowing as it approached. so i thought maybe that person knew me but as i glanced in, i realized he was one of those asian guys that i don't normally associate with, and he was using one hand to lower his sunglasses, staring right at me. i thought, how rude! so i stuck out my tongue at him and made a face. then he drove away.
ugh. ugh ugh ugh.
mood: irate
why am i up at this ungodly hour.
actually, i got up at 8 because i had to pee. then i went back to bed but couldn't sleep, and my sister who had just come here from taiwan came and talked to me while poking around my room. so now i'm fully up, and blogging. i've forgotten how cold it was in the morning.. but it feels interesting to be up so super early without having to immediately rush to something. it feels so weird because i've never gotten up this early when i didn't have to! hehe.. almost makes me feel like a normal person.
i said i wouldn't post my AP scores because i always thought it looked like you were bragging by announcing it to the whole world. but i got tired of answering ppl asking me so here they are. you get to reap the benefits of my laziness:
bio 4, english 5, calc BC 4 (AB subscore 4), microecon 5
hmm.... now that i'm up, i have no idea what the heck to do. what do people do in the morning???
mood: eh
actually, i got up at 8 because i had to pee. then i went back to bed but couldn't sleep, and my sister who had just come here from taiwan came and talked to me while poking around my room. so now i'm fully up, and blogging. i've forgotten how cold it was in the morning.. but it feels interesting to be up so super early without having to immediately rush to something. it feels so weird because i've never gotten up this early when i didn't have to! hehe.. almost makes me feel like a normal person.
i said i wouldn't post my AP scores because i always thought it looked like you were bragging by announcing it to the whole world. but i got tired of answering ppl asking me so here they are. you get to reap the benefits of my laziness:
bio 4, english 5, calc BC 4 (AB subscore 4), microecon 5
hmm.... now that i'm up, i have no idea what the heck to do. what do people do in the morning???
mood: eh
7.16.2003
haha.. i just got an email from my big sister in EECS.. here is some of it:
I don't know if you've heard about this Little/Big Sister program in eecs. What happens is that every year an incoming female freshman in eecs will be paired up with another female student in eecs. So yea, I'm your big sister! =D (I think we're paired up because we're both from Cupertino.. hehe..) ... I'm
leaving for Taiwan on the night of 31st and will stay there for about 20 days. I'm also going down to L.A. this weekend. so yea.. I hope to hear from you soon ^_^
aw.. isn't that sweet? i feel so bad that she's not going to have a little sister now because i'm not going to cal. :( but how weird is that? she's a GIRL in EECS from TINO who's CHINESE and going to TAIWAN!!!! those people are very talented at matching people up..
hehe.. email like this make me feel sad. :-/
I don't know if you've heard about this Little/Big Sister program in eecs. What happens is that every year an incoming female freshman in eecs will be paired up with another female student in eecs. So yea, I'm your big sister! =D (I think we're paired up because we're both from Cupertino.. hehe..) ... I'm
leaving for Taiwan on the night of 31st and will stay there for about 20 days. I'm also going down to L.A. this weekend. so yea.. I hope to hear from you soon ^_^
aw.. isn't that sweet? i feel so bad that she's not going to have a little sister now because i'm not going to cal. :( but how weird is that? she's a GIRL in EECS from TINO who's CHINESE and going to TAIWAN!!!! those people are very talented at matching people up..
hehe.. email like this make me feel sad. :-/
7.15.2003
this summer just has been.. ah.. so great. :D but it's about half over now.. doesn't time pass by so fast?
my mom wants me return that black zipper top i got at express. she calls it "bad girls" clothes. :-/ so i guess i gotta make a trip to the mall tomorrow.. but yesterday i also got bikinis!!! ta-da! XD at first i liked this one top but the other bottom, then i wore them together and the colors matched! so i have different-patterned bikinis now.. hehe
and today we went to "test it out" at charlton's house. i haven't worn a bikini since i was like four so it felt very weird.. like when i pushed off the side, water went in and i felt like the bikini kept on moving around, so i didn't have much "protection" around my boobs. teehee.. and we played underwater charade! well... i played underwater charade, they just kinda stood around with a bemused expression at my imitating a starfish by clinging on to the side of the pool..
one thing that bugs me a lot is parents who don't know how to let go of their children. you can't teach them much by restricting them, because they will just know "i shouldn't do this because my parents told me not to." until you realize it's their life and let go, they won't be able to decide what to do and what not to do on their own.. shouldn't parents teach children principles, instead of telling them you can't do this or that? i'm all for well-disciplined children, but if parents are overprotective and won't loosen their grip, once their children go off and live on their own, they will be as if all hell broke loose and be even more rebellious, just to do all the things their parents restricted them from doing before.
i'm glad my parents acted as my guides instead of my masters. they didn't treat me as if i was their little puppet, my limbs controlled by occasional tugs at their fancy. if i choose to become a mother one day, i hope i will do that too - not totally let my kids run "wild and free," but letting them live their own life and feel free to be able to tell me what is really going on in their lives. isn't it sad how many parents don't know what their kids are really like?
and of course, my daily mood: content
my mom wants me return that black zipper top i got at express. she calls it "bad girls" clothes. :-/ so i guess i gotta make a trip to the mall tomorrow.. but yesterday i also got bikinis!!! ta-da! XD at first i liked this one top but the other bottom, then i wore them together and the colors matched! so i have different-patterned bikinis now.. hehe
and today we went to "test it out" at charlton's house. i haven't worn a bikini since i was like four so it felt very weird.. like when i pushed off the side, water went in and i felt like the bikini kept on moving around, so i didn't have much "protection" around my boobs. teehee.. and we played underwater charade! well... i played underwater charade, they just kinda stood around with a bemused expression at my imitating a starfish by clinging on to the side of the pool..
one thing that bugs me a lot is parents who don't know how to let go of their children. you can't teach them much by restricting them, because they will just know "i shouldn't do this because my parents told me not to." until you realize it's their life and let go, they won't be able to decide what to do and what not to do on their own.. shouldn't parents teach children principles, instead of telling them you can't do this or that? i'm all for well-disciplined children, but if parents are overprotective and won't loosen their grip, once their children go off and live on their own, they will be as if all hell broke loose and be even more rebellious, just to do all the things their parents restricted them from doing before.
i'm glad my parents acted as my guides instead of my masters. they didn't treat me as if i was their little puppet, my limbs controlled by occasional tugs at their fancy. if i choose to become a mother one day, i hope i will do that too - not totally let my kids run "wild and free," but letting them live their own life and feel free to be able to tell me what is really going on in their lives. isn't it sad how many parents don't know what their kids are really like?
and of course, my daily mood: content
browsing random xangas again.. an entry really made an impression on my mind: vi. look at the december 9th post.
7.13.2003
7.12.2003
i think i may have two bruises on my butt.
good times, good times: standing near the bbq grill for warmth; "freaking" the horse; child-rearing revelations; two "lesbians" in the car; the pearl milk tea that actually had only the milk part of it; fob mark greeting; standing in line for the bathroom for 20 minutes; my horse with an attitude; angry mexicans and cranky white ladies; grape that "tastes like chicken!"; why everything tastes like chicken; the bread center; richard with leprosy; huddled together with chrissy sharing one jacket; my horse's name is ironically "bustie"; christina's measurements; trotting with rigid upper bodies versus moving butts; three drops of bird poop on poor chrissy...
why do i still smell like barbeque.
good times, good times: standing near the bbq grill for warmth; "freaking" the horse; child-rearing revelations; two "lesbians" in the car; the pearl milk tea that actually had only the milk part of it; fob mark greeting; standing in line for the bathroom for 20 minutes; my horse with an attitude; angry mexicans and cranky white ladies; grape that "tastes like chicken!"; why everything tastes like chicken; the bread center; richard with leprosy; huddled together with chrissy sharing one jacket; my horse's name is ironically "bustie"; christina's measurements; trotting with rigid upper bodies versus moving butts; three drops of bird poop on poor chrissy...
why do i still smell like barbeque.
7.11.2003
7.09.2003
ok ew. time to get a new counter. those bravenet people just do not understand that they have gone TOO FAR with the advertisements - first they started with pop-ups, and now THIS?! can a poor bloggist who only wants to have her simple, free counter get a break?! and now i gotta go dig out new counter sites. do you not see my plight?!
agh. ok done with my over-dramatization of the counter encounter. hehe!
i realize that even though i'd rather TELL people about my decision to go to NTU (as opposed to having them read about it and that's it), i'd still better write up a blog detailing my reasons, or else i just wouldn't feel right. my dear mr. blogger has been with me through the best times and the worst, and to make a big decision like this without first consulting my dear mr. blogger would just be wrong. so wrong.
instead of observing other people like i'm usually doing when i space out, today i observed myself. and i realized that when certain circumstances require it, i can be the exact opposite of everything i wish to be. today with relatives, i was meek, quiet, obedient, polite, lady-like... talked only about the "good stuff" - you know, stuff you talk about with relatives such as colleges, majors, languages, the weather oh my gosh.. haha stuff like that. why do i do that??? it's strange. i become a traditional chinese girl again. no one forces me to, but it's almost like second nature or something.. the good hostess.. the quiet listener.. the polite smile and nod.. the salutary phrases.. the helpful translator at the restaurant.. the denial when they give you compliments.. the smile and slight bow..
always been one to make fun of people who obey the whole "i must now face up to my duties as a chinese blah blah blah to my chinese blah blah blah and do what is expected of me blah blah blah..." so why do i do it too? gah >_< i fee like such a hypocrite! and yet, i'm confused at the same time, because all those things are supposed to be virtuous, no? being a good chinese daughter and bringing honor to the family and all that.. i suppose that if you do it superifically, just to put up a good show, it's a bad thing.. but what human being does not want to present their best side to acquaintances? when we try to let people see only the good side, is that being superficial or fake? or is that just being tactful and having good social skills? if a person is always completely truthful and straightforward, even blunt often times, but they don't have a healthy social life, does that make them any better or worse than a suave social butterfly?
and maybe if you're very good at these kinds of things, you can have the best of both worlds - truth and sincerity combined with a wide sphere of influence and connections.. but is that possible? it seems like the poetry-night-at-the-local-cafe crowd just doesn't mix with the business-suit-and-tie crowd? hmm...
another one of my "inconclusive experiences.." hahaha sorry for being a marlow.
agh. ok done with my over-dramatization of the counter encounter. hehe!
i realize that even though i'd rather TELL people about my decision to go to NTU (as opposed to having them read about it and that's it), i'd still better write up a blog detailing my reasons, or else i just wouldn't feel right. my dear mr. blogger has been with me through the best times and the worst, and to make a big decision like this without first consulting my dear mr. blogger would just be wrong. so wrong.
instead of observing other people like i'm usually doing when i space out, today i observed myself. and i realized that when certain circumstances require it, i can be the exact opposite of everything i wish to be. today with relatives, i was meek, quiet, obedient, polite, lady-like... talked only about the "good stuff" - you know, stuff you talk about with relatives such as colleges, majors, languages, the weather oh my gosh.. haha stuff like that. why do i do that??? it's strange. i become a traditional chinese girl again. no one forces me to, but it's almost like second nature or something.. the good hostess.. the quiet listener.. the polite smile and nod.. the salutary phrases.. the helpful translator at the restaurant.. the denial when they give you compliments.. the smile and slight bow..
always been one to make fun of people who obey the whole "i must now face up to my duties as a chinese blah blah blah to my chinese blah blah blah and do what is expected of me blah blah blah..." so why do i do it too? gah >_< i fee like such a hypocrite! and yet, i'm confused at the same time, because all those things are supposed to be virtuous, no? being a good chinese daughter and bringing honor to the family and all that.. i suppose that if you do it superifically, just to put up a good show, it's a bad thing.. but what human being does not want to present their best side to acquaintances? when we try to let people see only the good side, is that being superficial or fake? or is that just being tactful and having good social skills? if a person is always completely truthful and straightforward, even blunt often times, but they don't have a healthy social life, does that make them any better or worse than a suave social butterfly?
and maybe if you're very good at these kinds of things, you can have the best of both worlds - truth and sincerity combined with a wide sphere of influence and connections.. but is that possible? it seems like the poetry-night-at-the-local-cafe crowd just doesn't mix with the business-suit-and-tie crowd? hmm...
another one of my "inconclusive experiences.." hahaha sorry for being a marlow.